Assignment

I took a "intimacy, commitment, and relationship studies" course last semester. It was interesting and reiterated a lot of things I've known blah blah gave names to some concepts yadda yadda it was worth the time. Anyway, we had weekly writing assignments that generally had us writing reaction papers to certain material we would read/watch, using concepts we have learned.

Among the assignments was this (Not verbatim), "Find a form of media that best shows your view of love and explain why, along with naming the form of love it is and what you believe is the 'best.'" This was not a difficult assignment.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-uq3jDNODE

I remember picking this song up a long, long time ago. It has always stuck with me as a very transcendent form of love. Note the lyrics:
As the morning sun
Seeps in through a crack in the blinds
We open up our eyes
Let's get off this queen-sized bed
Where far too many tears have been shed
And dreams were left for dead
It's such a glorious day
So come what may
You and I are off to see the world

We'll put on our best clothes
Bring only what we need
Douse the walls with kerosene
Drop a match from the mezzanine

So get into the car
We'll watch it from afar
As the flames kiss the sky
There's only you and I
Let it burn to the ground
'Cause we're not hanging 'round
It's the day you and I are leaving town

Let it burn
Let it burn
'Cause today you and I are leaving town

You and I are leaving town
It's the day we're leaving town
It's the day we're leaving it all behind
It's the day we're leaving town
It's the day we're leaving it all behind
You and I

The song describes two people that have been committed to each other for a very long time, slogging through a lot of pain and despair. Through that, they have grown a powerful bond that allows their love to transcend possessions. They set their home aflame, with only their best clothes spared, to rediscover their lives somewhere else. Together.

Now you might say this is fatuous love, because there is no clear act of intimacy, but I argue that the obliteration of one’s past life (in the form of their home and possessions) is an extremely intimate act, especially when the song places "dead dreams" and "tears shed" with the bed specifically. To relinquish ones pain is just as intimate, if not more, than sharing a moment of more atypical intimacy. Doing it together just adds another layer.

Commitment, passion, and intimacy are all present, in my eyes, thus making this a form of consummate love. I find, especially today, a lot of media lean towards the conflicted, chaotic relationships. Makes for good entertainment, obviously (Though this has the outcome of most media enthusiasts to assume those are how relationships should be, but I digress), but even still, recent depictions of consummate love are very bland, almost unnoted, due to the lack of interesting conflict, which is why I find this song so very endearing.

The greatest form of "love" I find is the kind shared amongst comrades in arms. It lacks the "romance," but it is such a powerful commitment and connection between people that is can drive soldiers to great heights of heroism and self-sacrifice, something that is not always present in a relationship with a fairly potent relationship triangle. That said, I think it can be attributed to the love shown in this song, as it is two people in it together, through thick and thin, able to make great sacrifice for each other.

Love is everything and nothing. It can be found right in front of you or be impossible to grasp. Love is meaning, as is the absence of it. Love is good, love is evil, and none exist without man to find it. Love is eating a meal your Grandma is convinced is your favorite and you don't have the heart to tell her otherwise. Love is putting your sick pet down. Love is obsessively watching facebook updates on someone you like. Love is slashing the tires of the guy you think is trying to steal your girlfriend. Love is remembering what his favorite movie is and buying a little related knick knack you saw by chance at a grocery store. Love is both spectrums and everything in between. Perspective defines it.